I am 5 years away from 30. I reside in Fayetteville, AR, and I am currently studying to become a Chemical Engineer. This does entail all of the nerdy details you assume would come along with it, so if you think it, it is. I am obsessed with all things Jewish (especially men), and I love my furry children.

 

Happy birthday, pretty girl! (You are 3, by the way.) #siamese #lioncut

Happy birthday, pretty girl! (You are 3, by the way.) #siamese #lioncut

Danny Mahoney: I got a million fuckin jokes. I got a fuckin book full o' jokes, I'll whip it out, I'll tell ya a joke. How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex pay his bills? No. Uh, how does a dinosaur pay his bills? Tyrannosaurus checks. That's a great fuckin joke! Ya understand me?

Jason Mantzoukas: Wow.

Scott Aukerman: Is the mess up in the middle of it part of it?

Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, you had to redo the set up.

Danny Mahoney: What're ya talkin about?

Jason Mantzoukas: Work on the set up.

Danny Mahoney: What difference does it fuckin make?

Jason Mantzoukas: Tell me the joke again.

Danny Mahoney: How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex pay his bills? Wait. How does a dinosaur pay his bills? Tyrannosaurus checks. That's part of the set up! So people know it's coming! That's how a fuckin' joke works, asshole!

Jason Mantzoukas: Okay, well, let's not even get into it.

johndarnielle:

saladinahmed:

So apparently, this is a thing: Greenscreen-clad workers who secretly flip models’ hair during shampoo commercials. (via @makingofs on twitter)

if they would leave the mummy in the commercial I would be 200% more likely to purchase the product

johndarnielle:

saladinahmed:

So apparently, this is a thing: Greenscreen-clad workers who secretly flip models’ hair during shampoo commercials. (via @makingofs on twitter)

if they would leave the mummy in the commercial I would be 200% more likely to purchase the product

kwmurphy:

7 Mistakes You’re Making with Olive Oil

Shampooing your dog with it.


Pouring it on Lord Denethor and lighting him on fire.


Trying to use it as currency.


Carrying it in a gallon freezer bag and telling people it’s your nephew Walt.


Freezing it in the shape of olives.


Dressing like Popeye and trying to have sex with it.


Using it as a metaphor to describe Johnny Fontaine’s hair to Tom Hagen.

kwmurphy:

7 Mistakes You’re Making with Olive Oil

  1. Shampooing your dog with it.

  2. Pouring it on Lord Denethor and lighting him on fire.

  3. Trying to use it as currency.

  4. Carrying it in a gallon freezer bag and telling people it’s your nephew Walt.

  5. Freezing it in the shape of olives.

  6. Dressing like Popeye and trying to have sex with it.

  7. Using it as a metaphor to describe Johnny Fontaine’s hair to Tom Hagen.

Old fashioned… #treatyoself #deadday #thirstythirstday

Old fashioned… #treatyoself #deadday #thirstythirstday

Yep, 8am Mommy texts. #iamachild #eternally14

Yep, 8am Mommy texts. #iamachild #eternally14

The second gentleman with the blue glasses skateboarded by and have me this. Looks like I know what we are doing the 17th… #werd?

The second gentleman with the blue glasses skateboarded by and have me this. Looks like I know what we are doing the 17th… #werd?